Tuesday, December 31, 2013

26 Fridays...Going to Make it Happen

I just joined a group led by author Jon Acuff.  He is leading a group starting tomorrow, 30 days of Hustle. Creating a network of people to accept challenges and follow through on their goals for 2014.  The group is closed, but will open up again in 30 days if you want in.

I'm excited to have a group of strangers out there that I'm some how accountable to.  I feel like, I get lost in some of my ideas.  My real vision is to continue to work with high school students, educators and leaders.  I want to empower them with coaching so they can live out the life they envision.

To live out this vision of mine, I've put together a 26 week journey, 6 months to become clear on a vision and create a plan of action to begin moving in that direction.  Throughout the 6 months, each week will consist of a challenge or topic to sift through and a weekly call to coach through that weeks topics.

I will be kicking off the first round in February, 26 weeks to discover passion and purpose.  To begin leading your life differently and on purpose.

The first round is being offered for free, with a maximum of 100 spots available.  If you are interested in joining in on the journey together, head over to www.narrowgatecoaching.com and register for the 26 Fridays Course.

Here's refusing to limp into 2014.  Stepping out of comfortable and into Awesome.  Just because that is what a "Different Life" is all about.

Happy New Year Friends.
Ryan Gaskill
@ryngaskill

Saturday, December 28, 2013

BDL in 2013

I decided it would be fun to recap 2013.  It has been a year of new steps for me and I'm excited to continue to move forward on these projects.  I started this blog to share insights I have learned through years of settling for average and seeing other people do the same.

I believe for the most part, most people don't see themselves as awesome.  We come from a culture that paints a pretty skewed picture of awesome.  I watch too many people settle for average.  I wanted to share a different view of awesome.  I want to help you discover your awesome.

So here is my top 5 lessons from the last 2 months of Bout a Different Life(the links will take you to those specific entries.

1.  Words are powerful
     Your words are powerful.  They encourage or discourage.  You speak life into people or crush them with your words of negativity.

2.  Lead from your place
     We are all in different places in our life.  There are a lot of people who believe they can't lead because they are not in an official position of leadership.  You can lead and be different and be awesome where ever you are.

3.  Be Thankful for tough times  (also here)
     It is hard to see the lesson, or see the good in our struggles.  It is consistently true that our struggles and our obstacles shape us in a way that easy street can't.  I know we would like for life to just happen to not have to work at awesome, but it doesn't work that way.  Awesome comes with a price, different takes the long way home.  Enjoy the struggle, it makes you stronger.

4.  Simply Start
     You won't be different, you won't be awesome if you don't start trying to be.  You can hope for greatness, you can dream about it every night, but until you decide you are going to take action it will elude you.  Don't worry about how it is going to turn out.  It will turn out better than if you just dream about it.

5.  Say No
     Sometimes we have to say, "No."  If you don't, if you refuse to say no to things, you will overwhelm yourself.  You won't be able to put as much time as you need to into your greatness.

These are a few of the lessons I wrote about in 2013.

I am excited to have had the opportunity to share with you.  I'm thankful for those of you who have reached out to me and let me know you were reading and offer advice and encouragement.

I have launched a coaching business to take off in 2014.  I am doing something "Different"  I am letting you value working with me.  If you are interested in closing the gap between the life you live and the life you envision, contact me and you decide what it's worth to you.

I will be launching "26 Fridays" a 6 month workshop that will help you gain clarity on your vision and purpose and help you create an action plan to begin moving forward.

I will be hosting a 4 week seminar for high school students to encourage them to "Avoid Average" and help them become clear on their passion and create a plan of action.

As always I appreciate you sharing my blog and following me on twitter @ryngaskill

Happy New Year,
Ryan


Friday, December 27, 2013

Presence or Presents

With Christmas having just passed the most asked questions deal with how our Christmas went.  We often ask did you get everything you wanted, especially to children.  So how about you, did you get everything you hoped for?

This morning my eight year old, Grace joined me at high school swim practice.  Leaving the practice some of the older kids told me Grace couldn't tell them what she got for Christmas.  I responded, kind of in jest, "That's because presents don't matter."  The swimmers scoffed and kind of laughed, a response that makes me sure that was a moment of "Bout a Different Life."

I was proud of my daughter, she didn't feel it necessary to list all the things she received for Christmas over the last few days.  I'm sure she could though, list the people she saw and spent time with (I'm sure she can list the presents too).

Our family spent a few days in Virginia with cousins we see only a handful of times each year.  Each time is special for the kids.  When we arrive, the kids disappear and every now and then show up around the kitchen looking for food.  I'm sure that it is these things Grace will really remember as she gets older, not the new American Girl paint set.

The memory of presents will fade away and soon be forgotten.  I'm reminded to not put faith in possessions as they will certainly grow old, outdated, and become obsolete.  People though, relationships, if worked on will grow stronger and even more meaningful.

I'd like to make more of an effort to focus on relationships and people moving into 2014.  This whole journey I have begun to share, is all about people; but sometimes I can look past the people that are right in front of me.

Grace reminded me this morning the importance of people, and to be present with those people.  Who is it in your life you would like to be more present with?

If you are enjoying "Bout a Different Life"  follow Ryan on Twitter @ryngaskill
Sign up to get updates on Narrow Gate Coaching
And as always please share this with your friends and followers.
Thank you for continuing to read and share "BDL"

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Enough is enough

What is enough?  When will I have enough?  Today is Christmas.  Did you receive enough, give enough?

We run through life always in pursuit of more.  More money, more titles, more followers, friends, likes, shares, and retweets. 

But when will it be enough.  As I begin this journey of pursuing building a platform and sharing my insights of living a different life, I often dream of what it could become. 

Right now, I get to walk along side and impact about 150 students each year.  My hope is that I can help thousands of students each year through coaching and speaking to schools and teams.  But what is enough?  What will my enough be?

Early on it will be important for me to define enough, otherwise, I will lose sight of other areas and let them slip into the abyss of my professional goals.

As you reflect on this year and look forward to 2014 take some time to define enough.  This will be helpful to keep one area of your life from conquering all the other areas.

What is your enough?

Merry Christmas.  Please share this with your friends and followers.

Follow me on twitter @ryngaskill

Monday, December 23, 2013

Merry Christmas Charlie Brown


I hope you have a wonderful Christmas.  Enjoy time with family, friends, and everyone else that might show up at your house. 
Remember the words of Linus and the true meaning of Christmas Charlie Brown.

This Year Will Be Different

I want to offer you a special deal.  I'm so passionate about you and, your choice to begin moving towards the life you envision; I want to offer you the opportunity to work with me to develop your path to a different life.

Life coaches and professional coaches in all different genres can charge on average $300-$500 per month, and sometimes higher than that.

I'm going to do something unheard of in the world of business.  I'm going to let you put a value on working with a coach.  That's right, you get to decide how much coaching is worth to you.  For the next 12 months, I am offering coaching and walking with you through the Narrow Gate, so you can begin moving towards the life you dream of.

Coaching has helped me begin this journey, to live a different life.  I couldn't think of anything more different than offering coaching services to you and letting you choose how much they cost.

Coaching is about your discovery of where you want to be, a better husband, father, employee, leader, educator, writer, student, or getting healthier.  Here are some Frequently asked questions about coaching from the International Coach Federation.

Get the process started today go to my Narrow Gate Coaching and register to get more information on coaching services for groups and for individuals.  There are a limited number of spots available so get registered as quickly as possible.  Don't let this opportunity slip away.

What area of your life could you use coaching?

Feel free to share this opportunity with your friends on Facebook and Followers on Twitter.





Friday, December 20, 2013

START STRONG...Finish Later

Finish strong.  

There's a problem with this theory.  There is a different way to look at this.  It's not actually how you finish, but that you simply START.

I'm reading a book by Jon Acuff, titled...START.  I'm just getting started on the book, and Jon makes a pretty good point early on in the book.  You can control the start, the finish is out of your control.  I'm a big proponent of the idea of controlling what you can control, control the controllables.  Those are the things you need to own.  So the start of your venture is one of those things you can own.  It's your choice whether to do it or not, you decide how much time you put in, you own it all.  The finish though, the results, that is out of your control.

This morning my wife and I woke up to a surprise, two daughters that can't go to school.  With two working parents, this becomes a moment of panic and scrambling around  figuring out who will be affected less by missing the day of work.  This morning my wife stepped up and was the first to point out, "Okay, this is going to be okay, we can't change anything at this point."

She decided to stay home today and not worry too much about how this will affect travel plans next week and the plans for the weekend.  Those are out of our control.  She will START, treating our daughters, taking care of their needs to help them get on the path of feeling better.  The results though, the finish, are out of our control.  We don't know at this point how long this will last, how many plans will have to be changed.

As you are thinking about your vision for you life and pursuing "the Different Life" or entering the Narrow Gate, remember it's more important to START than worry about the finish.  You can have a vision, and there's only one thing you know, if you don't start moving towards it your vision will always just be a vision.

Can I help your team click here
Get "Bout a Different Life" sent to e-mail click here
Follow Ryan on Twitter @ryngaskill

Thursday, December 19, 2013

This team isn't about YOU...

Take a look at what is written above each of these girls.
The result of TEAM...State Champs
Being on a team, means you don't get your way.  It means you don't get to do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it.  Being on a team is about sacrifice, giving up your own selfishness for the greater good.  The good of the team.

I heard a swimmer tell their head coach today, "I'll just quit the team if I have to do that."  As I thought about this statement, I began to realize that they really aren't a part of the team.  They are a swimmer, but not part of the team.  They miss more practice than they attend.  Every meet they try to get out of swimming. Yes you have a cap, goggles and bathing suit, but you're missing one of the key ingredients of being a member of the team...Sacrifice.

Team is about a unit of people working together for one single goal or multiple goals.  That means when I don't feel like showing up, I do, because my teammates are counting on me.

I like to think that my wife and I work pretty well together.  We can both count on each other to be there, to show up for each other.  I know she is going to be there for me and so in return I want to make sure I show up for her.  If she never knew if I would show up places, or couldn't count on me to pick the kids up when I was suppose to, there would be a pretty serious break down on our team.  We would have less wins than losses.

I thank my wife for her sacrifice to be a part of our team.  Today think about the teams you are a part of. What sacrifices can you make to help those teams?  What are you willing to give up for the good of the team?

Can I help your team click here
Get "Bout a Different Life" sent to e-mail click here
Follow Ryan on Twitter @ryngaskill

By the way, the girls pictured graduated and were always a part of the team.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

The Power of "NO"

My wife and I have been trying to teach our youngest daughter sometimes NO is going to be the answer.  We are working on her reaction to hearing "NO."  Sometimes she throws a fit and cries when she doesn't get her way.  She may have learned it from me, I'm not sure.

I tend to think this is because we haven't said it enough.  We are quick to say "Yes."  This doesn't just apply to our children, but to other areas of our lives as well. 

The word No is powerful it is taking a stand for yourself and what you believe is important.  Too often I get caught saying yes to things that take time away from my goals and passions. 

This year one of my goals is to eliminate some of the things I'm not giving 100% to, so I can give 100% to the areas I am passionate about.

What is it in your life you need to say no to?  This year be "bout a different life" and chase after your passions.  You might have to say "No" to make it happen.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Are you content or did you settle?

The head coach of a girls swim team I work with was talking to one of the swimmers about some things that would help her get faster.  Her response was, "I'm content with how I am right now."

Content?  How does that work?  I'm having a hard time understanding this concept.  I understand the concept of not wanting, not coveting stuff, not comparing what I have with what other people have.  I don't though, understand accepting less than what you are capable of, it seems sad.  I'm all for being happy with who you are.  What I'm concerned with is when being content, becomes settling.

This is not to say I have always done my best and put forth my full effort (just ask my wife how good I am at cleaning), but I'm not content with those areas.  I have tried to get better.

I have a hard time being content when I work with a group of students and some in that group fail.  I can't be content with that.  I can't settle for not getting the best out of people, so I continue to push and I continue to try new things to help me improve and more importantly to bring out the best in them.

It is important to me that each student understands that concept.  I want them to understand they don't have to settle, don't settle for C's if you can get B's, don't settle for B's if you can get A's.  Don't settle for a major, just because your parents want you to fulfill their dream.  Don't settle in your relationships.  You are here and you are special and you deserve your best.

Are you willing to settle?  Or will you be "Bout a Different Life"?

What areas are you tired of settling for in your life?

If this has been helpful, please share it.

To learn more go to Narrow Gate Coaching.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Expectations for a ROI

What are your expectations for your life?  Career? Marriage? Finances?  

I posed these questions to my classes yesterday.  Not about their marriage, most high school students I work with aren't married.  I asked them about school.

"What do you expect to gain from your experience in school?"

I wanted them to understand that they should be looking for a return on their investment of time and energy. They spend a huge amount of their time in school and they should expect a return.  What was it they expected?  What is it you expect as a return in your life?

"Is that expectation being met?"

Right now the way school is set up for you, are you getting out of it what you would like?  Do you feel you are being prepared for the next obstacle in your life, will you be able to continue moving towards your vision at the status quo?

"How would you change school to meet your expectations, to give you the return on investment you are looking for?

I allowed them to create a vision for their perfect scenario in school.  Think about how you can make adjustments to better meet your expectations.  Sometimes all you need is to become aware of this gap and you are able to make those adjustments.

"Finally I asked them to create the perfect school.  I wanted them to take ownership of the process and become a stakeholder in their education.  You too can take ownership of your situation and begin to move towards the "Narrow Gate."

If you would like to learn more about building vision in your life or the lives of students, click here.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

My Own World

Sometimes we lose track of what is really important.  This song, by Matthew West is a reminder for me that I often get lost in my selfishness.  I often get lost in my own worries and concerns.  

Dave Ramsey's Entreleadership, tweeted yesterday, "Love people, treat them well. That is how you compete."

Great advice in a world where we so often get focused on ourselves and taking care of ourselves first.

There are so many ways we can add people to our circle of influence.  Simple things, our thoughtfulness, our compassion, or being calm or polite in a situation that doesn't deserve it.

A great example of being "Bout a Different Life" is simply treating people better than they might deserve, or giving to people more than they can give back to you.

Below is the official video Matthew West:  My Own Little World





Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Why wait for 2014?

I've never been a New Year's resolution kind of guy.

I always have felt like "what's the point," just creating a goal because I was going to start writing a new number on my checks seemed ridiculous.  My view has been, when I need to make a goal I will make one. Goals are fluid they move and they need to be evaluated from time to time.  More often than New Year's Eve probably gets you on the right track.

We are famous for the "I'm going to lose weight, get in shape" goal.  The I will spend more time with family goal.  This year I will cut out excess and focus on my passions.  The problem is we often don't understand how we are going to get from where we are to where we want to be.

This really became clear this year as I encouraged high school students to create a path to the life they dream of.  Their responses almost across the board-

"Work harder"  "Get focused"  "Get better grades"

All great ideas; but they lack real direction.  They lack measurable tasks that you can see and feel.  To turn goals into achievement you need them to be clearly defined and measurable.  What is working harder? Being more focused?  What will you do different to get better grades?

Results don't change without actions.  Actions creates results.  Focus on the action.  Be specific.

Today is here right now, I can't think of a reason to wait for 2014 to start moving your life in the direction you want it to go.

The results will follow.  So WAKE UP, enter the NARROW GATE, and be "Bout a Different Life"

Share how you plan to attack 2014 get a running start, start today.


Video thanks to SwimSwam.com

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Who Goes First?

How many people in your life do you put ahead of yourself.  Whose happiness is more important than your own?  This is a tough concept to wrap our heads around, but for most of us we would easily respond with answers like our children, our wife, our parents, brothers or sisters.

These are good answers.

Are they though, the answers that people see when they look at our lives?

Who else is there?

Are there people outside of your family that you are willing to put on that list.  If so, how far would you be willing to go for them?

This video, West-Jet Christmas Miracle,  was posted on a blog by author Jon Acuff, I thought the video was worth sharing and it went with what I was sharing today.

It is this placement of ourselves as less important than others that places us in a great position of leadership.

If you are wondering why people aren't following you, why they don't respect your leadership?

It could be their perception of your value of them and what you would be willing to sacrifice for them. People follow when they are convinced you are placing their needs before your own.

A great symbol of being "Bout a Different Life" and being well on the way through the Narrow Gate.

"Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage.  Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand."  A paraphrased quote from a guy named Paul or Saul, depends on who you ask.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Lesson from Lebron

Maybe you already live BDL everyday, you're "Bout a Different Life"  You're not AVERAGE; you're awesome.  You love every aspect of your life.  Everything runs smoothly like the gears of those expensive automatic movement watches.  One of the things you probably realize is the value of continuing to learn, you probably have a desire to learn, a dream of being the best there is in your field and you are constantly a student.

Maybe you think you wasted much of your school years, you may regret the effort you put in to your studies. Throughout our time in school we often think we know so much more than we actually do. We weren't real interested in soaking in all the knowledge that was being thrown our way.  This was just a base of knowledge to propel you into greatness, but the wealthiest, most successful people didn't stop learning after high school or college or even after their first million.  The most successful people continue to push themselves to learn throughout their lives.

There's video of Lebron James, king James already at this point, spending time in the off-season with Hakeem Olajuwon.  Why do this when you're already a king?  Seems like a waste of time to me, I can think of about a million things I would prefer if I was a king.  Don't worry, I won't list them all here.  James saw a hole in his game, he wanted to continue learning.  So he went to a guy he thought knew more than he did in that particular area.

Greatness is very rarely inherited or genetic, it is most often taught and learned.  You may have a dream to change some area of your life, to be better at something.  Remember step one is to learn, find out who does it well and find out what they know, what can you learn from them.  There's always more to learn, more to experience, there's a Narrow Gate and along the road there is much to learn.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Who's That, Who's That

As a high school teacher, I get to hear all kinds of excuses and reasons for things not being done, or not being at their best, most of the time somehow it comes back to me being the problem.

I am happy to accept that blame.  As a teacher, I also can be victim of passing the buck.

Certainly I'm not to blame for this students poor behavior or their struggle through school, I'm sure they have parents to blame for that.  

I'm reminded of a Laurie Berkner song; nothing like a good children's song.  Who's that looking in the mirror, who's that looking back at me...THAT's ME

This is what you get when you have young children, this is the kind of knowledge you acquire.

The answer to our mediocrity, our short comings is often right there in front of us.  We can continue to blame others for the state of our lives, or we can look at ourselves, look at the choices we make each day, each hour, each minute.  

Those are the ones you control.  They are the ones you can change.  

My students, can't change me, I can't change their parents, but I can change my perspective, I can accept them for their shortcomings.  More importantly, I can accept my own shortcomings, and those can be the ones I decide to focus on.  

The road through the Narrow Gate is yours, living a different life takes looking in the mirror and recognizing this is the person who can bring about the most change.

Follow on twitter @ryngaskill

Thursday, December 5, 2013

The Great Escape

This time of year we get stressed out and so busy and sometimes we need a day to get away from it all.

A day to reflect and focus on what is really important.

See you tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Don't Blame it Away

We had a little fun yesterday at our first swim meet of the season.  I coach a high school girls team, and had a little fun with the boys assistant coach.  The meet for the boys wasn't going well early on, so I jokingly started to blame the assistant for everything that was going wrong.  This goes along with a little inside joke we have. And, so you know, none of the things going wrong were his fault, the head coach, from time to time, assigns blame to him for a number of different things.

The joking yesterday brought me back to an job I had in college.  The general manager there was a great example of leadership he had  a phrase he would say to his staff when something went wrong, and we would try to place the blame elsewhere.

"Don't Blame it away"

Pretty simple concept-own your mistake.  He understood that everyone was going to make mistakes, what he was looking for was for us to take ownership of those mistakes.  When we take ownership of our mistakes we gain the ability to learn from them.

Blaming someone else for problems and mistakes allows you to walk away free and clear.  Although you aren't, you are convincing yourself the mistake wasn't your fault, what did you learn?  What will you do differently next time?  Nothing, because you weren't willing to own up to the mistake, so it will continue to happen.

Great leaders own their mistakes and even go as far as accepting blame that might not belong to them.  Are you trying to enter the Narrow Gate, trying to be BDL, trying to lead others to their full potential?

Don't blame it away!  Own your mistakes.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Failing Forward

Failure, what an ugly word in our language-never a word you want to hear attached to you or anyone close to you.  But here's the thing, no matter what you do, or who you are, failure is a part of your life. (If not let me know your secrets)

Failure can be, though, an opportunity to continue to push forward, unless it's not.  Its easy to be faced with failure and quit, I see people do it all the time.  "This is too hard"  "I can't do this"  "It's too much"  "I'm too busy"  If you're like me you've used one of these as an excuse before, and you gave up on something, or even worse never tried.  You let yourself fall short of your goal.  And if you're really good, you probably convinced yourself that what you did was enough, close enough to the goal to be satisfactory.

As I work to develop the message of  Narrow Gate Coaching, I run into obstacles and I fail repeatedly.  As I build the concepts of the message I want to share with people, I fail.  Each of these failures is a chance to try again, an opportunity to learn and do it better the next time.

Some failure is paralyzing it stops us in our tracks, it's often even the fear of failure that can prevent us from beginning down a path to a "different life" or on the pursuit of a dream.  For a long time I waited to pursue sharing this message of a Different Life, I thought why would anyone want to hear what I have to say, or care about what I know.  I let doubt and fear shape my pursuit.

Today, I attempt to embrace failure.  Today, I look at failure as a learning experience.  Today, you are invited to fail with me, in pursuit of something special-The Narrow Gate and being able to say proudly, "I'm BDL...Bout a Different Life."


Monday, December 2, 2013

Simplify? Pursue?...Both?

December has arrived, the Christmas season is here-filled with commitments and stress.  I seem to always get myself overwhelmed during this holiday season.  There is a ton going on, my coaching season is kicking into high gear, along with a number of different activities for my wife and kids.

 I'm reminded of the "one word challenge" from a Fellowship of Christian Athletes devotional I read a couple years ago.  The concept was to choose one word at the start of the new year and let that word be your theme of the year.

As I move into this busy season of Christmas and New Years, I have two words in mind, simplify and pursue.  Looking at the words they seem very different.  Simplify, defined as-to make less complex or complicated.  Pursue, defined as-to strive to gain, seek to attain or accomplish; also to carry on or continue.

Thinking of the direction of my life and my vision for my life these two words come to mind.  Combining them I can see SIMPLIFYING life as getting rid of some of the excess and the distractions, to PURSUE what is really important.

Only you can define the importance of things in your life.  This Christmas season continue to Be "Bout a Different Life" and PURSUE the Narrow Gate.

Share some ways you would like to simplify your life moving into 2014?  And things you would like to pursue?