If I Had A Million $$...

There's that Bare Naked Ladies Song, and they list all kinds of fun stuff they would do if they only had "ONE MILLION DOLLARS"  say that like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers, it is more fun that way.  They come up with some pretty fun stuff to do with a million dollars-buy a monkey, build a tree fort, buy a green dress (just not a real one).

What would you do if you had $1,000,000, actually let's make it really interesting, let's go $100,000,000?  Money no longer is much of a concern at that point.  That's big time money there.

Now imagine this-someone says to you I'll give you $100,000,000, but you must have a job, create a job, create an organization, you have to do something.

What would that be,
what would you do if you had $100,000,000 that you"re not doing now,
or are you already doing it?
How close are you?
I know I'm throwing out a lot of questions for a Friday morning.

I posed this question to my students this year, to get them to think about what they would love to do with their lives, not what was practical to do because it has the highest starting salary or because the possibility of money was involved.  It's a fun exercise, to take money out of the equation when you make big decisions like a career.  Well maybe, that's what you should consider, what would I love to do, how can I wake up everyday and be excited, what would that be like?

How close is what you're doing now, or what you're pursuing as a career to what you would do if money didn't matter?  Living a life that's different, that is great, starts with a pursuit of doing what you're passionate about.  I bet when you start doing what you love or pursuing what you love, you'll figure out a way to fit it in, to make it work.  It might not mean you have to quit your job, but it might mean you have to get focused and figure out how you can honor your passions and your values.  Start walking through the Narrow Gate, and be "Bout a Different Life"

It's Thanksgiving...

Happy Thanksgiving, I'm thankful that about two weeks ago I decided to start writing.  It has been such a blessing to be able to share the message of living differently.  I'm thankful for the feed back and comments.  I hope I can continue to share content that is helpful, thoughtful, and at least makes you smile from time to time.

Being able to write has helped me be conscious of my actions and when I fall off track.   Writing has helped me remain on the Narrow Path. 

I'm looking forward to an awesome day with family, food, and football-not necessarily in that order, but it's close enough.

I hope you have a wonderful day and can rejoice in your thankfulness.

Just Do What I Do...

Yesterday I got a great parenting lesson.  Unfortunately, this lesson was learned by seeing an awful scene of parenting.  It made me think about how our actions and our behaviors are examples for our children, students, employees, followers, whoever is paying attention.  Being Bout a Different Life means people will pay attention, and they will pay attention to your actions more than your words.

I got to see an angry parent in action, yelling, cursing, and even threatening a coach about her child's tryout to a sport at the school where I work.  And, Yes, this women's child was with her, she also had her younger son with her.  Why waste an opportunity to teach just one of your children how to handle a situation you are upset with when you can teach both of them?  Yeah you're right, this is a situation I should not be sarcastic about.

My heart hurts for this girl and boy.  To think about how this one night, this one event will negatively affect their lives.  Thinking about what this women taught her children last night. How her children will now handle a problem.

Scream  a lot, if that doesn't work-Start inserting the most obscene expletives you can think of, still not a result you're happy with-Threaten to catch the person on the streets, then to top it off walk away and use the same expletives to explain to your daughter, "Your gonna be on this f#@&ing team, your my f$#@ing daughter, and you'll be on this f---ing team."

Yup, that's the formula, if you hope to scar your children for life, there it is laid out for you.  Please remember that you're being watched and observed.  Your actions set the expectations for the right way to respond in situations.  I don't by any means have this perfected, I sometimes hear my older daughter telling her younger sister how to do something, and I hear myself, and I say to myself, "I really need to watch how I explain things to her."

People are picking up on your cues on how to perform in certain situations.  If you're the boss and you show up late and leave early, guess what-your employees will do the same.  If you're the teacher and you aren't organized in class, your students won't be either.  If you're a parent and you drop the F-Bomb and threaten to "catch someone on the streets"  don't get up set when the principal calls home or the police show up with your children, it's not their fault, it's yours.

On this day before Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for parents who didn't curse at me, or anyone else.  Thankful for parents who began the process of teaching me "Bout a Different Life" and how to look for the Narrow Gate.

Who is it that has most influenced your life through their actions?

Thanksgiving...Missed Opportunity

I just love how Thanksgiving has been so commercialized, just like the rest of our holidays.  Oh wait that hasn't happened.  How has this not happened?  There are no gifts, no I want this, I want this.  No made up characters to go visit in the mall.  I don't even know of Hallmark Thanksgiving cards.  Americans have dropped the ball on this one.  Certainly there must be a way to make money on Thanksgiving.

Maybe I could dress up as a giant turkey and sit in the mall and charge parents $49 to traumatize their children, they could sit on my wings and tell me what kind of pie they wanted for dessert.  But instead all we get on Thanksgiving is family and food.  What a rip off.  This seems like a perfect day for someone to give me presents.  I can think of plenty of thinks to want...Oh Thanksgiving... being thankful, right, so getting presents that defeats the purpose.

Well I guess we are stuck at home enjoying time with family, friends, and a great meal.  I guess since we won't be getting anything new under the Thanksgiving Bush, I will think of the reasons I'm thankful for what I already have.

I decided, I like this holiday, I might even say its my favorite, even without a fictional character, presents, and Hallmark Cards.  Just a time to be THANKFUL, a time to enjoy family.  Thursday enjoy the lack of commercialization, I know its not something we are use to, but try to just enjoy the people you get to spend this holiday with.  If you are traveling I pray for safe travels and a blessed time with your family.  Happy Thanksgiving.

How will you be spending the Thanksgiving?

Tough Times and Thanks

Thanksgiving week, a week to be thankful for everything we have been blessed with, including...everything.  I've seen a few people this year post on Facebook, each day of November, something different they are thankful for.  Family, Friends, Job, Children, Shelter, Food all the good stuff.  The easy stuff to figure out.  What about the hard stuff, what about the stuff that we don't understand, the stuff we wish wasn't happening, can you find a way to be thankful for it?  It's not easy and it might take time, but these are the things that make us who we are, shape our view of the world, shape our passions and purposes.

Throughout this marathon of life we are thrown detours and roadblocks, some are easy to see coming and we easily maneuver around them, like the telemarketer call we ignore every night.  Others we have to face head on and run right through them like that job search that keeps throwing out rejections.  And there are some that we have to put on our backs and carry them with us for a long time, maybe even forever.  These might come in the form of sicknesses, deaths, divorces, or addictions.  When we are in midst of any of these we may feel like there isn't a light anywhere to be seen.  Yet there always is.  There is always a way through.

When I got married, I left a job to move to New York City.  My wife just finished grad school and wanted to fulfill a dream of living in New York.  I figured I could easily get a teaching job in North Jersey or New York.  I was incorrect, I couldn't find a job teaching anywhere.  I was unemployed for about two months, not an eternity, but it was stressful not knowing where money was going to come from.  When I finally landed a job, I couldn't have asked for a better opportunity.  I landed a job in business to business sales for a company called World Wide Express.  I got to work with some really talented people who taught me a lot about being a professional and not accepting less than my best.  This provided me with a ton of value throughout my life.  It allowed me to get away from education for a season and when I returned I was better for it.

Last year my family was faced with a number of deaths, 3 actually.  Two close friends (one a young mom Mary Beth, in my wife's inner circle of friends and one a friend of mine, Joe, I look up to like a mentor) and a family member (my wife's younger brother Josh) . These events are harder to work through and figure out how to be thankful.  I am thankful for the time I had with each of these three people.  Thankful for the things my wife and I learned from them.  I know the events of the last 13 months have shaped my passion to share this message with more people.  My desire is to continue to share the message of being "About a Different Life" and use that to reach as many people as I can.  My vision for how I see my life impacting other people's lives is bigger than it ever has been and I'm thankful for that.

One of the five keys to avoiding average I share is to enjoy failure.  It is these tough times that shape our lives.  It is these times we wonder, most, why we shouldn't walk through the wide gate, down the easy road with everyone else.  I know this, on the other side of the obstacle there is something special.  You might not see it today, but keep your eyes open and keep walking through the Narrow Gate.

It's the Freakin Weekend...

That's right I went R. Kelly in the title.  This will complete a full week 7 days of a blog, sharing my thoughts and ideas on living differently.  At the beginning of the week we said, "Uhgh...It's Monday"  and here we are it's Friday.  The work week(at least for some of us) is coming to an end.  As you look back on this week, has it gone according to plan?  Have you been able to get done all the things you had hoped to on Monday?

This week for me was about consistently having a blog post up and being able to write.  As I look back on this week I am looking at a week of accomplishment.  Achieving a goal, having content to share everyday that, I hope, has helped you look at your life differently or reminded you of where you are heading.  I am excited about seeing some of your responses and I hope I can continue to serve you.

Looking back on this week reminds me of how sharing some of my ideas and thoughts about living differently has helped me look at my life differently.  Blogging has raised my standard for myself, it has helped me think about where I am coming up short.(there are too many places to talk about today)

Today, reflect back on your week, where were you successful?  Where were you not?  Don't spend too much time dwelling on this past week, today it comes to an end and tomorrow is another day, next week another week.  The road and gate, although narrow and only found by a few, is always open to those that choose to enter and journey down that road.  If your still following the crowd, today can be the day to look around and  find the Narrow Gate.  Look forward, Keep your head up, and enjoy the obstacles along the way.  Have a great weekend.

Where's The Gap?

Is the life you envision the life you're living?  For those of you that have visited my website you see this tag line at the top of each page.  It's really the basis for the message here and the message of Narrow Gate Coaching.  Allowing people to ask themselves that question.  Are you dreaming of something more in your life?

Most of us have gaps in our lives, some of us do something to close the gap, others let it grow to a canyon.  My gap existed in my professional life last year.  I was feeling really frustrated with the work I was doing and wrestling with whether my life was really having the impact I wanted it to.  I actually began a casual job search and started putting my resume together.  I came across life coaching and leadership coaching and started taking some classes.  The strategies and concepts I learned have helped me close that gap.  I discovered I could start applying these coaching strategies to my classroom and help students develop clear goals for their year in my room and a clear vision for their lives.

I launched a business where I can share this message of not accepting average and being driven by passion and purpose through speaking and coaching groups and individuals.  These actions have helped close that gap and allowed me to feel more fulfilled and purposeful in my life.

The first step for me was being aware of this gap and being willing to do some things differently to close those gaps.  Today, consider areas of your life you would like to look differently.  On the journey for something different, the journey through the Narrow Gate; step one is being aware of where you are today and deciding the direction you would like move in that area.

Know Your Role...and be a Leader in it

Leadership comes in a number of different forms.  Being different, setting yourself apart isn't always the easiest of tasks.  Too often we think of ourselves as just role players, that person who is just suppose to do what they are told.  We think of reasons to not step out and lead.  Today think about how you can be a leader in your current role, how can you go above and beyond your call, or job description?

Working with students and athletes on leadership, my goal is to get each person to think about how they can be a leader in their role.  If you are the guy at the end of the bench, that doesn't often get in the game, how do you lead?  What can you do to help your team win?

Last season, watching a high school basketball playoff game I saw great leadership.  The team's leader, the heart of the team, the guy that brought the energy and intensity, fouled out at the end of one of the most exciting games I have ever seen.  His team had just fought their way back from being down by 19 points.  And now he was out, heading to the bench in overtime.  At the next team timeout he was the player grabbing the water and the towels for his teammates.  At that moment he understood his role and he understood how to lead in that role.  He didn't need to be on the court to continue leading and making a difference (his team would end up winning).

Where ever you are today, think about the ways that you can lead from that position.  Leaders won't wait until they are in positions of leadership to lead; they are building a base of leadership skills and qualities throughout their lives.  Remember there is a Narrow Gate, and only a few will find it.  The rest of the world will take the easy way out, they will sit and sulk because they fouled out or because they can't get in the game.  Stop walking down the road with everyone else and make your own path, and carve it out with greatness.

BDL...For Life

BDL, Bout a Different Life, why use broken English to title a blog about living differently and fully?  BDL comes from something some of my students were talking about last year, except they were saying BTL (Bout That Life).  They were talking about some kids they knew who were involved in stuff high school kids shouldn't be involved in, selling drugs, doing drugs, robbing people, fighting; you know the run of the mill high school drama.  They would then say, "oh yeah so and so is BTL."  I have a habit of jumping in to my student's conversations and I was curious about BTL, they of course ask and laugh, "Mr. Gaskill you BTL?" (verbs are optional at my high school but I at least am addressed so formally)  They eventually told me BTL meant Bout That Life, in one of my more clever moments I said, "No, I'm BDL!"  Pondering what is this crazy man talking about I told the students that I was Bout a Different Life.  BDL became a theme for the class that year.

Not only a theme for the class that year, but a theme I attempt to live my life by.  Admittedly, I fall short of always living to the standard of BDL.  I can be cynical, sarcastic, I enjoy listening to a little gossip here and there, all qualities that fit me comfortably into the crowd of people around me.

My goal for myself, my students, my readers is to encourage them to be about something different.  My hope  is to continue to share this message with people.  That through this you might discover what your different life looks like.  You don't have to live a life that looks like mine or anyone else's.  Find your Narrow Gate, walk through it and pursue it with purpose and passion.

Uhgh....It's Monday

     Monday morning and ready to go.  Here we are, the week has begun.  Most people dread Monday’s I have to admit, I’m one of them most of the time.  What is it about having a couple days off that makes it difficult to get back to the work week?  Now that I’m here it's fine nothing traumatic happened this morning.  It was just like Friday morning and the day usually plays itself out like a normal day, but we dread it, we hope it never arrives.  We say, "I wish I could just skip to Tuesday," although then you would dread that day. 

     Monday is the start of a new week, and new can be exciting, if you let it.  What is it you’re hoping to accomplish this week?  One of my goals this week is to have content to post each day for this blog.  Blogging is new and I’m excited about it.  It has helped me go into this Monday with a goal and a plan to accomplish something.  As you get into the day and people are responding with, “Uh it’s Monday.”  Remember you can be different; you can be About a Different Life, a life that enters the Narrow Gate and is driven to push through to greatness.

      This week think about all you have the opportunity to get done, the people you have a chance to serve and lead; the things that move you closer to being at your best.  This Monday and this week close your gap, if you have been hoping to spend more time with your kids, your wife, finally cross something off your to do list, Monday is here.  Go get it done, Be About a Different Life.

Words of Strength

Yesterday my daughter had swim practice, she's 8.  When she arrived, she had to let the coach know she would have to leave a little early.  He took that opportunity to tell her he was impressed with how good she was getting at butterfly, a big smile appeared on my 8 year olds face.  What a great example of using words to drive people to be great.  It wasn't planned or thought out, it was just an opportunity and it landed perfectly.

This is something we too often forget to do.  A simple little complement can go such a long way, not just for an 8 year old swimmer but for any one whose life you hope to impact.  As you begin to move towards living differently start with telling people what they are doing well, it will help you both moving on the narrow path.  Thanks Coach Garr for lifting my daughter up with words of greatness.

Avoid Average

Is anyone listening...reading.  Who is going to see this?  Will my message land on deaf ears or any ears at all?  The message here is simple, be different and set yourself apart from the crowd.  Don't use comparisons of others to measure your excellence or lack of it.  When you look around in the majority of cases you see average and most of us use that measuring stick for ourselves, average.

I recently launched a business with the sole intention of working with people to avoid that word...AVERAGE.  You aren't here to be average, to be like everyone else.  Excel at something, leave your mark on this world and on the people you cross paths with.  People remember different, not Lady Gaga different, but simple different, not following the crowd different.  

My newly launched business is Narrow Gate Life Coaching, the name comes from a verse in the Bible that reminds us to not follow the crowd, to enter the narrow gate, stay on the narrow path.  Your path through life most likely will look different from everyone else's.  Embrace it, enjoy it, pursue your passions, and don't be concerned with what anyone else is doing; be about a different life, one you'll look back on proudly.